Im totally supposed to be sleeping but I have a headache and my mind is going a million miles a minute! I received a comment on one of my instagram posts that has been really getting to me. Surprisingly, it was nothing really negative, but has made me extremely self conscious about my breast reconstruction. Since my reconstruction in December ive tried really hard to listen to my surgeons advice, wait the six months for my skin to heal and implant to settle, but now im just getting impatient, and for good reason id have to say!
The comment read, “Do you have different implants in both? Or just one side?” In essence this is a pretty valid question I guess because my chest does look crooked. But come on, why would I get two different sized implants? Anybody that educates them self on breast cancer, reconstruction, and radiation knows that your skin changes. You do not get that “glamorous boob job” you’ve ever dreamed of. It was sort of like a slap to the face.
I try sooooo hard to love my body, embrace my scars, show my chest to empower other girls like me, and yet Im upset because deep down I miss my old boobs:( I miss my tiny tatas with my cute little nipples that didnt need to be glued on. I am sick and tired on the pain and discomfort around my bra line, and I crave dressing up in my glitzy Victoria Secret bras:(
I am literally to the point that I want to call my surgeon and beg him to take these implants out and redo them! But then again, what if my skin continues to remain tight and it is all for nothing? What if I roll the dice one too many times and get an infection and lose my boobs all together!! I wish someone would have educated me on the difference of profiles and implants before I simply went with my surgeons recommendation. My gummie Naturelle teardrop shaped implants are just not what I imagined:( they are hard and Its impossible for me to have cleavage. I just want to feel normal and sexy again:(
Ugh… late night brain wandering is the absolute worst. Oh well, this lopsided princess must get some beauty rest…
What type of implants would you recommend? Im thinking of round, high profile exchange…