When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my family and I were so caught off guard. Of course a kazillion questions come to mind in the midst of being completely awe struck that at 26 years old, my life would be changing forever. The biggest question pressing on all of our minds is the HOW? How in the world at 26 years old, being pretty fit, typically healthy, working full time and planning a wedding of my dreams… 

How do I have cancer?
I remember geting the phone call following my friday biopsy on monday, and that week my life became swampped with appointment after appointment in preparation for treatment. Until you go through the cancer diagnostic process you have NO idea (or atleast I hadnt and I work in the healtchcare field) how many different specialists could be involved in your care.

I went from many years since high school hardly having a PCP to in a matter of days having a binder with a list of 10+ physicians or healthcare personele who would be guiding my journey. As I sat and listened to my amazing oncologist Dr. Jane Raymond, i remember looking up at her through teary eyes, john holding one hand and the other with a fist of tissues as she told me I was to meet with a gentetic counselor just in case they could rule out a genetic component to my diagnosis.

As per the dictionary, Genetics is the study of heredity and the variation of inherited characteristics. So where does this fit into a cancer diagnosis.
My back story:

Up until I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and being one of 3 daughters and a young women in what you can call a predominantly women filled family tree, we pretty much came to the conclusion that genetics did NOT play a role. On my moms side the only main health concerns were primarily arthritis and heart disease, my dads side high blood pressure, diabetes, and a few uncles did have lung cancers which we related to environmental causes from working in the steel mills their whole lives.

As we sat down with my gentetic counselor, she drew out the very detailed family tree just to visualize my upbringing and dive a little deeper into our past. I decided that the process of genetic testing was 100% something I was interested because 1. If I was positive for a genetic mutation, I could save someone else in my family, but also 2. Due to my young age and the rarity of the breast cancer diagnosis at 26 years old, I could opt for scientists to do research on my genes to perhaps save someone elses life! How absutely incredivle is that!
Although genetic testing has a lot of ethical concerns, from working in healthcare, the benefits for me totally outweighed the negative attributes. 

There are many laws in place to protect patients who do indeed go through genetic testing where if a gene mutation is identified you cannot be denied healthcare or insurance coverage from a pre existing or pre-disposal of a specific diagnosis (thank you Obama). This was my biggest concern being that I am so young, i didnt want to ever be denied something or have to pay kazillions of dollars for insurance for the rest of my life.

How the testing works:

Now im sure there are many ways to go about genetic testing. My counselor met with me and my family, went over a whole binder of information then followed this testing strategy. 
1. I couldnt have eaten or drank for atleast an hour, lucky for me I was so nervous with all my upcoming appointments that my oral intake had diminished and I was yet to ingest anything that day anyways.

2. I was provided 2 plastic vials. These tubes have a mouth hole and a fill line. I was instructed to SPIT, yes i said it, spit until the saliva reached the line (not the most dainty of tests… But it would have to do)

3. Once the vials were filled, you close the lid which then punctures a small canister and another liquid is realized into the saliva to perserve the sample (scientists are so amazing, how to they come up with this stuff?!)
What this test was looking for:

There are currently 13 Genes that have been identified up until this point that relate to breast cancer. Many of us are most aware of BRCA1/2 gene from more social media and celebrity advocacy which Angelina Jolie tested positive for and opted for double mastectomies as a precautionary measure prior to an actual positive cancer diagnosis.The Kardashian family also just showed an episode where Kris Jenner encouraged all of her daughters to undergo genetic testing because their grandma had breast cancer. (Side note: once again, we MUST remember that breast cancer IS NOT a woman only disease! Therefore, Rob Kardashian technically also should have been tested… Cough cough Kardashians!)

My results:

To our surprise, and even though we were all convinced there would be nooooway really for me to have a genetic component because once again up until this point we did not identify anyone in my family with breast cancer. I am indeed POSITIVE for a moderately rare gene mutation identified at PALB2. 

Lets take PALB2 Basics:

” The PALB2 gene is called the partner and localizer of BRCA2. It provides instructions to make a protein that works with the BRCA2 protein to repair damaged DNA and stop tumor growth. Research published in 2014 found that an abnormal PALB2 gene increases breast cancer 5 to 9 times higher than average, almost as high as an abnormal BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene. Women with an abnormal PALB2 gene have a 14% risk of developing breast cancer by age 50 and a 35% risk of developing breast cancer by age 70. In comparison, women with an abnormal BRCA1 gene have a 50%-70% risk of developing breast cancer by age 70. Women with an abnormal BRCA2 gene have a 40%-60% risk of developing breast cancer by age 70.” (Thank you, http://www.breastcancer.org)

Okay okay enough of the statistics, numbers are boring and just BlOW my mind…

So, What Does This All Mean for Me?

Ultimately this information is important for 1. The rest of my family because now they could be at risk if they have the same genetic mutation. 2. My offspring because I can pass down the gene to them, and 3. To my overall care and treatment because surgical strategies may change now because of the genetic component there is a higher risk of my cancer returning. ( however knock on wood this IS going to be a one time battle👊🏻)
Since Ive been identified at having a genetic component, my little sister Jill has also undergone testing and DOES NOT have the gene. My middle sister Samii has had a BRCA test done and DOES NOT have that gene however testing is still pending regarding PALB2. My aunt on my dads side has also been tested and she DOES NOT have the gene.

All this being known, as far as I see it… I basically just have really shitty luck! I am officially the first person in my family tree (other than a recently identified great great aunt on my dads side) to have breast cancer! Some people say I should play the lottery more, others say I should go on a game show… Whether it be luck or fate we shall never know, however thankfully due to genetic testing my families future may be saved.

If you’ve been following my blog, you may be aware that I had undergone IVF or fertility treatments to removal my eggs and make some embryos with the help of my hubby to preserve that chance of us being able to have our own babies. Now that I have been identified as having a genetic mutation, thanks to scientists, technology, and truly amazing human beings… My eggs can now each be tested for the PALB2 gene before we even bring a baby into the world! Although some may think this is sacreligist and that we are manipulating our future kiddos… In my eyes, I am saving them from one less battle in this difficult place we call LIFE!

What Can You Do to Decrease Your Risk?

If you know that you have a genetic mutation or the fact that someone in your family has breast cancer but never had genetic testing completed, there are some lifestyle changes that you can make to lower the risk!

1. Maintaining a healthy weight: sorry girls, well and guys too… I guess we all should jump onto the weight loss band wagon! Kidding kidding, but it all makes sense, the healthier your weight, the lower the chance of predisposed illness! Find a weight that you are happy with… And by MAINTAINING that overtime, you decrease your risk of cancer, and dont have to spend as much money on clothes because your size will never change;) come on, we have to see the bright side of every situation.
2. exercising regularly

limiting alcohol

eating nutritious food

never smoking (or quitting if you do smoke)

A Few “Did You Knows!”

*About 5% to 10% of breast cancers are thought to be hereditary, caused by abnormal genes passed from parent to child.

*If one family member has an abnormal breast cancer gene, it does not mean that all family members will have it.

*The average woman in the United States has about a 1 in 8, or about 12%, risk of developing breast cancer in her lifetime.

I am a proud supporter of genetic testing, and although these tests typically are expensive and often not covered by insurance, due to my age and a positive breast cancer diagnosis our insirance has covered mine and my sisters testing 100%. Since my diagnosis of the PALB2 mutation, my treatment plan has shifted from the possibility of just a lumpectomy to undergoing bilateral mastectomies (though still completely my choice) because the prevalence of reoccurance is 30% with this gene! That is wayyyy too high of a risk for me especially because I already promised myself to be done with all this forever!

If you have any questions regarding genetic testing, I can do my best to help. You can always look for a local “genetic counselor” if you are interested in undergoing any testing yourself!

Hopefully sooner or later with the great minds of science hard at work, we will one day atleast gene-wise prevent/ find the cure to breast cancer! Until then, we will continue to fight one day at a time❤️

Xoxo Meg

A few months ago now, I received the absolute most amazing gift thus far. It came in the most perfectly designed package, a tiny black bagged case and a mermaid/ unicorn t shirt aside. It was long, and blonde… Have you guessed it yet?!

It was my hair!

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer back in October, the most heart breaking thing for me was facing the facts… with chemotherapy comes alopecia or hair loss. I searched and searched for a way to not lose my hair. I was even ready to sign away a $5,000.00 check for “polar caps” which in essence freezes your hair follicles at the root for protection from the drugs. However, once my surgeon heard of my plan, he about jumped out the window, then decided to share with me his experience of these “caps” at the Cleveland Clinic where he saw young girls keep their hair… But also have their cancer spread to their scalps! Um, no thank you!!!!

So, with my sisters and hubby by my side, my cousin and mom were on facetime, and my wedding videographer the amazingly talented Paul from Sholfilms was about to document one of the craziest things I have ever done in my life up until this point. I made the decision with my families encouragement to not let cancer take one more thing away from me… I would take away my own hair before I would ever allow my lucious locks to be lost in a bath tub or on my pillow during beauty sleep!

My sister was in contact with this amazing company L’avant Garde Hair. They heard about my story and so graciously decided that they could help! They instructed me to cut my hair off in multiple ponytails (a little less drastic than brittney spears) and send it to them so they could construct a wig made out of my own hair! How absolutely incredible is that?!

Details about my unit aka my gorgeous Goldie locks:

(^^^ Lace Front Wig: My real hair made into a wig!)

– My hair totaled to 1 bundle or about 100 grams of hair (aka I was nearly bald before with my thin stringy mane)

-They had to add in two additional bundles in color 16 in lengths 18/20 with a matching 14 closure (these are hair details that some people were asking about so just hang in there)

– My actual hair are the tracks right under the closure if you look closely you will see my highlighted hair and the difference between the other bundles

**I must do a special separate shout out to explain how incredibly thankful I am for L’avant Garde Hair. They literally gave me back my beauty! They made me feel pretty again and with all of that, my amazing wig was DONATED to me by them! I can’t even thank them enough for this special gift!

Back to the story here:

(^^^ Vs. Synthetic Wig)

My sisters were prepared and purchased me a synthetic wig to wear in the meantime knowing I would be absolutely scarred at first with my new short cut. I must say, seeing myself for the first time with such short hair was shocking! I mean, my entire life I had long blonde hair aside from when I decided to cut my hair short to my shoulders because my cousin Cindy cut her hair short and I wanted to be just like her!

You dont realize what your hair truly means to you until it is gone. When you have cancer, you are already vulnerable, you feel sick, then you look in the mirror being a girl with a bald head is upsetting. I went through every single emotion you can possibly imagine. At first I was shocked that I actually shaved my head, then I was surprisingly okay with it when my sisters and cousin were cheering me on. Later, when I was alone I was curious as to how this could be a new beginning from my highlight damage from so many years, then my short shave began to fall out and my chinchilla like cut turned into a shiny bald head like Mr. Clean! Now, a few months later… I am finally getting more comfortable wearing hats and going out bald, just as long as I draw on some eyebrows then were all good 😉

When you stand up and look into the mirror, It is incredibly difficult to understand the reflection looking back at you with this sort of change. I mean, I still had my awful eyebrows (I started plucking at like age 10 in the day when pencil thin brows were cool, what was I thinking— thank God for Tarte brow kit), my eyes are still their unique grayish green with speckles of brown and a glipse of mystery yet joy for life, my nose could still use a bit of contouring thanks to the ball at the end however it makes me me, my lips are real;) unlike some other family members;) and yes I overdraw them so I dont need injections because me and needles already have a love/hate relationship however when I smile, there is still a happiness. It is so bizarre how by simply removing your hair, you find yourself looking at the “new” you… For now, a “cancer you”… Its a different reflection than the person you knew for so long, but in a way its sort of revitalizing.

Although my outside has began to wither away, my inside is ready to sparkle and shine. I try my best on the daily to be strong. Its been extremely tough, but I realize that I am so so lucky because for me, this is temporary… There are some girls that the wig life is a permanent situation!

I have to be truthful, i’ve had those evil thoughts when I see girls with long locks taking gorgeous selfies… In my head of course I have said why me and why not them… Why do I have to be ugly and shop for wigs when they can simply spend money on clothes or makeup?! This is natural though… right?;)

Everything that I thought I was, now I am not… Or is the “real me” still there just in disguise! What i’ve realized out of all of this, is the way society does indeed “label” a person on their looks. My little sister asked me when we went out to eat the one day as I chose to not wear a wig because of my extreme hot flashes… “does it bother you that people are starring at you?” To be honest, since ive lost my hair I feel like thats all people do is stare. But hell, keep starring… I sort of like being the center of attention! 😉

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Before I knew I had my cancer, I never realized how materialistic or how much work I did indeed put into my looks. I mean, I always got offended if someone were to refer to me as high maintenance because I am not afraid to get down and dirty. However, I was that girl wearing hair extensions and bringing a whole bag of makeup and compact mirror to every service trip I’ve ever been on (including Guyana South America… pictures above). In a way, this adventure has taught me many lessons that I hope to share with my family, friends, and the world around me.

The truth is, our society is wayyyy too caught up in the outward appearances from selfies to snapchats to tinder or match.com. How do we make a shift where appearance isnt ones first impression? The truth is… It will never happen, and one can only dream. However, what we can do is teach kindness. I wont name names, but I have some family members in the dating world. It literally tears me up inside when they discuss their “criteria” for someone of the opposite sex because every single thing they list are things that can be taken away in a blink of an eye. Dont be so vain, TALk and find out who people really are on the inside! If I would have met John after my diagnosis and all he cared about was physical appearance, would we have missed out on our amazing love story?

We can teach our children from a young age that different is okay, that a girl is a girl no matter if she has long or short locks. Its easy for me to sit here and say you should get to know someone before you judge them. I understand that appearance in a first impression, just please be open minded GOSH!

There are still those times if I havent seen someone in a while and they initially see me bald, I wonder how they will react, I get nervous… Its a Franz girl thing, were always worried someone will forget us (which we all know is pretty hard for our Franz Family) The funny thing is, I always get most nervous around kids or my hubbys cousins who are young and I dont expect them to understand why im bald now. Turns out, theyve all just accepted it and still see me as the old me! Truthfully its been since October and I havent actually had someone say anything negative about my looks except for an internet troll but who really takes them seriously anyways?👊🏻

Through this journey i’ve gone through so many ups and downs regarding how I look. My hubby takes the brunt of this one as i’m mostly crying to him about my hair or how I look. He is the most amazing guy, I mean at 25, do you really picture yourself marrying someone with cancer? One day you have the little blondey with the cute bubble butt, the next minute you are practically married to a bald earth worm 😉 Aside from the kazillion times he’s said to me that “your hair will come back”, or my favorite “it doesn’t look that bad”, or “you’re still beautiful”, one day he said something to me that finally stuck! He looked at me as we laid on the couch together and said (give or take a few words of course), “you know I dont even see your baldness because your still the Meghan I met with hair”. So, if he can still see that me, why is it so hard for me to see that me!

All in all I want to share advice. Never take anything for granted, but most importantly in this case, do NOT take your looks for granted. In a blink of an eye, a one time “beauty” can be swiped away causing a lot of insecurities and heart break. Girls, please dont take this as me saying dont go to the hair salon or wear makeup, because that is soooo far from what im saying… Heck, I am a Barbie girl at heart❤️. However, What you look like on the outside is NOT all you are as a person. Be a good person. Be kind, loving, confident because you are YOU, there is only one YOU, and no one can ever take that away! If you have that sparkle and shine on the inside, it will always magically make its way to the outside, just smile and love the YOU in the mirror and everyone will love that YOU too;)

XOXO

Meg

I’m an Occupational therapist. After 5 years of college and earning a Masters degree, I’ve worked the past 3 years in acute care hospitals on many different levels from trauma and ICU, orthopedics, med surgical, pediatrics, cardiology, and oncology! When I think about what can an OT do for me now that I have cancer… My first reaction is nothing. I typically see the sickest of the sick once their admitted to the hospital, but quite frankly, If an OT was sent to me, i’d tell them to leave. (Bye Felicia)

Or do I really need an OT in my life? Is my inner OT becoming jealous? What is the role of OT in oncology?

From morning aches that make my body feel like it were hit by a Mack truck, days of non stop nausea, and nights of sleepless nonsense running through my head, where has my perfectly “aligned” life gone. I am a huge fan of a model I learned in OT school known as the PEO (person, environment, occupation) Model. This model in a snip it takes a person, their environment in which they live or are surrounded, and the “occupations” or things that make a person who they are… Like interests or hobbies. It then draws the circles that interlap… When something is knocked off balance ie: by cancer, their “PEO fit” or the area where all three circles align is thrown off, thus “occupational dysfunction” occurs.

Okay, I’m not going to bring you back to my college days… But I think I’m on to something here! I, Meghan Franz am currently dysfunctional! OMG!

OT friends help me out here as I explain.

1. Exhaustion- they told me I’d be more tired… Well you can say that again! I never ever ever thought I could possibly sleep for 22 hours in 1 day! Oh ya, that happened! That is far too much sleep for one human being. I know my body is tired and fighting a whole lot. It’s like having its own war! However, Mulan and the Huns did indeed rest in between battles even aside from the random avalanches (Disney reference). All I’m saying is rest is good to a point! I need to bring out my good ole activity configuration… I need a schedule, please find me an OT and quick!!!

2. Fatigue- the first time I noticed my energy decreasing was when I was vacuuming my couch. Many of you may know I have a 7-month-old yellow lab, whom sheds like a bear! I being the neat freak I am, vacuums almost daily! I was vacuuming one day and needed to take breaks because I was getting over heated and my arms were tired. Wow! I actually had to pace my self, rest and use energy conservation! Say what!!!! I never ever thought people actually listened when I educated about seated rests! I even use a stool when I do dishes. Question is… Was it instinct? Or is my brain just oozing with OT tricks of the trade that I instinctively knew to use those techniques? Hmnnn….

3. ADLs- what the heck is that? A new chemo medication? NO. A diet? NO! Just those daily things we OTs like to call Activities of Daily Living. The bathing, dressing, brushing your teeth or grooming type things. I won’t get all technical by introducing IADLs or instrumental activities of daily living like cooking, cleaning, or having sex! But… Let me tell you! I’ve become a lazy bum! Chemo kicks butt, but… It also makes you exhausted therefore getting dressed or putting on makeup is even exhausting! I’m convinced God makes you lose your hair through chemo because if I had my hair it would be one more thing to do and I just wouldn’t have the energy. I hate to admit this but there’s been weeks I’ve worn the same PJs for days— ew! Or days I’ve thrown a beanie on and no makeup (OMG just no!) this is chemo reality. And i go out like that… Don’t judge me👊🏻. My family comes over and begs to help with the cleaning and stuff around the house… It just kills me to accept the help truthfully. (I’m also a brat and like things done a certain way). It is encouraging that there are services for breast cancer patients to help with these things because literally just by putting a load of laundry in I need a nap! I feel like this is such a huge area that we OTs can make an impact in for on oncology patients…any OT friends need some per diem;)

4. Cognition- okay this is very hard for me to admit. When I first started chemo the nurses warned me of ” chemo brain” sounded contagious but come on, really what else could I contract?! Oh, that’s just it! Chemo Brain! It comes when you least expect it… But if you thought I was ditzy before… Spend a day with me now! Okay so they say this is all reversible and OT friends if you try to MOCA or ACL me, I’ve been practicing for this specific reason;) It’s crazy though. For thanksgiving i was baking with johns cousin and simply wanted to double a recipe. I couldn’t figure it out. I started crying but my brain wasn’t making the connections. I cannot keep track my medications for the life of me, and i get lost driving very easily. They call it chemo brain:( any cognitive strategies for these above issues aside from med lists and memory games message me please! 😉

5. Coping skills- if anyone has every said that having any kind of cancer is easier over another, they were a big fat LIAR! Its not that HAVING cancer that is the hard part, because frankly before you’re diagnosed who knows how long the “cancer” has actually been in your body. It’s the God-awful treatments and physical changes that a patient goes through that is that hardest part. My sisters, dad and I went to Olive Garden for lunch one visit and I was having really bad hot flashes so I went bald. As we were walking out of the restaurant my sister asks me, “do people stare at you like that all the time”, truth is YES! Without a wig or hat people are constantly judging or at least wondering about my baldness, and it sucks! When I go to the mall and people ask me if they can pray for me, that’s kind but please stop putting hands on me right then and there… Like that is embarrassing! Kind gesture for sure, but come on people. I am neither the first nor the last bald girl to walk the planet! For me, my blog has become a positive coping mechanism. I am able to write what I feel and help other people in a similar position as me! So, journaling aside… I just chose to make mine public;)

6. Work balance- The day I got an appointment with my PCP and asked my boss to leave work early because I found a lump in my breast and just wanted to get it looked at all the way back in October was the last day I was able to work. It kills me because I love my job, I love my patients, and i love the team I work with! From gazillion appointments to the effects of treatment, it is near impossible right now for me to have the energy to treat people that are sick when I am sick myself! We aren’t talking going to work with a cold here… Literally me working in a hospital whether I be on the orthopedic floor, general medical surgical, cardiac, or oncology unit, right now it can be detrimental to my entire recovery. My white blood cells are affected by the chemo, if I work in a hospital and pick up the tiniest of bugs… I can find myself in the hospital. At 26 years young, this is extremely hard to wrap my brain around. I’ve caught myself saying “my education is a waste”, “ill never work again”… Truth is, I will… I just have to have patience and realize this is TEMPORARY!

With that all being said, whether it be the “cancer” or the treatments, it affects a person as a whole! The things that used to be just part of my normal routine are completely affected and the truth is, right now there isn’t much I can do about that. Change is all part of this whole recovery process. From the physical to emotional parts, a person is affected on all levels of everyday life. OT’s have the skills to see a patient with cancer as 1. An individual but also 2. A human being! Patients with cancer still have things that are so meaningful in our lives… We just have to alter the way we do things to enjoy life just the same as before! We aren’t just bald little aliens who were dealt an unlucky card! I am still Meghan, I am still 26 years old… And I am still an Occupational therapist!

Photography by:  Sasha Danielle Photography

XO Meg

Last Tuesday was my first day of my 2nd round of chemo aka it’s a downhill from here on out (fingers crossed!) John and I showed up at my oncologists office as usual but this time I noticed increased anxiety.  It couldn’t have been because I am allergic to everything and have the weirdest reactions with any knew medications could it! Don’t worry, my partner in crime (aka Hubby) was there to hold my hand and talk me through deep breathing as I began my new treatments.

Being the New Year, I switched onto my Hubby’s new insurance plan so we ran into a slight speed bump when the receptionist said I may not be able to get treatment today because she had to get an authorization, however with a little bit of luck my new insurance didn’t need an authorization so I was able to get treatment after all.

First I had to get all my vitals taken like usual, and thankfully i’m still maintaining my weight (despite the fact that my dad says I look like a skeleton, I swear its just bad genetics and my baldness makes my dark circles POP even more!) Were escorted back to one of my doctors rooms, I had to change into a gown and waited for my checkup.

It’s always so nice to see my oncologist Jane Raymond! She always comes in with a big smile, a giant hug, and answers all my questions and concerns so perfectly!  She checked my titty ta ta and it turns out… THE TUMOR IS SHRINKING! Yippee. I mean, i’ve felt it… and i’ve made John feel it, I even made my sister feel it but it’s different when a doctor says it is indeed shrinking.  I still have to wait until the end of this round of chemo before they do any sort of radiology but good news from a palpating stand point!

I was placed in the 2nd chemo room, which is a change but I will deal. I initially picked a comfy seat but was relocated due to precaution and needing to be near an oxygen line (because the nurses are sick of me having reactions!)– Better safe than sorry though right!

My pre-medications were changed up a little bit.  I don’t need as many as when I was receiving Adriamycin so that is a good thing considering they believe it was one of the pre-medications that sent me to the ER with an accelerated heart rate.  The nurse explained to me that I would be in need of Benedryl still and Ativan because my anxiety is soon awful because i’m scared of dying overtime they put a new medication through my veins!

I was filling out some thank you’s from our wedding when the benedryl and ativan hit. I got extremely tired but still had to urgency to PEE! I stood and nearly fell over… John nd the nurse escorted me to the bathroom and I literally felt drunk. Too many meds for my little self I guess. They gave me some fruit and fluids and I just prayed it would all be over soon.

So, lets talk about TAXOL (aka my new chemo med)

As per chemocare.com:

The following Taxol side effects are common (occurring in greater than 30%) for patients taking Taxol:

• Low blood counts. Your white and red blood cells and platelets may temporarily decrease. This can put you at increased risk for infection, anemia and/or bleeding.
• Hair loss
• Arthralgias and myalgias, pain in the joints and muscles. Usually temporary occurring 2 to 3 days after Taxol, and resolve within a few days.
• Peripheral neuropathy (numbness and tingling of the hands and feet)
• Nausea and vomiting (usually mild)
• Diarrhea
• Mouth sores
• Hypersensitivity reaction – fever, facial flushing, chills, shortness of breath, or hives after Taxol is given. The majority of these reactions occur within the first 10 minutes of an infusion.

Turns out for me the newest symptom is the neuropathy, or tingling in my hands and feet. It doesn’t happen ALLLLLL the time, thank GOD… but it does occur daily. I don’t know how diabetics deal with this life-long symptom! I am noticing really bad headaches this week, but it could also be the weather 🙂 and my skin is SO SO dry…I HATE THE COLD!

Update on my hair… it is growing!  John actually noticed that my neck hair is starting to grow however per Taxol side effects and other peoples experiences, my hair isn’t going to be like Rapunzel anytime soon!

Other than that, my experience thus far has been rather TYPICAL for once (KNOCK ON WOOD).  Fingers crossed these next 11 sessions FLYYYYYY Byy:)

XO Meg

I walked over to my drawers, reached to the far back bottom drawer to pull out the perfect little black lingerie. It was one of the pieces I bought for my Boudoir shoot (by the amazing Sasha Danielle Photography)  for my wedding gift to John and almost two months later I still haven’t had a chance to dress up with all that’s been going on.

Truth is, since October when I was initially diagnosed, life has been a true whirlwind.  Emotionally to physically, I just haven’t felt myself.  Now I’m not going to go all Samii Ryan on you (My sister is a sex blogger– follow her blog at Sex and the Valley) but I am going to talk a little bit about cancer and sex because it is so so important.

There are so many things that go into a romantic relationship. Some may say it starts with physical attraction, others may be attracted to a person’s personality first. I was lucky enough to find the love of my life before my life was flipped upside down.  My hubby was able to meet me as Meghan before cancer, before I was nauseous every day of my life, and before I was bald.  Back when I met him, I was the little blonde girl with a bubble butt who thought her shit didn’t stink.  I knew I was cute, and frankly I knew how to play the cute girl card.  (Wow I sound so vain, but this is all about the truth here…)

Making love is an important part of any romantic relationship.  The difference between married sex and dating sex is it is a forever thing.  It is very special to me to have sex.  Ive been through the times that you have sex like six times a day, truth is when your married and have cancer your lucky to have sex once a week— and thats no ones fault!  The key is to make time and yes, pencil it into the schedule.

So, Things that change with sex because of cancer:

1. Feeling Sexy: I took things for granted before and now looking back, I cherish all the memories I once had.  I miss looking cute with a side pony tail, or finding the perfect swarvorski crystal bra and pantie set, doing a few sit ups to make my abs look cute and playing hard to get. One day my hair will grow back and i’ll be whipping my hair back and forth all night long 🙂
2. Having Time: From doctors appointments to family visits… i’d love for anyone to tell me when the heck do I have time to drop my panties?! Unless we wanna a quick “wham bam thank you mam” with my mom or sisters in the other room… sexy time just isn’t happening.
3. Getting in the Mood: From feeling nauseous to just being physically exhausted, how can I get all hot and bothered if my body is frankly tired… my pillow is so comfy once my head hits it.
4. Feeling the same: Truth is, my sex drive has decreased… hey, maybe its God telling me to calm down you little hormonal teenager:) Atlas now he can handle me:) kidding kidding!
5. To wear the wig or not to wear the wig: my advice is NO! What if it goes flying across the room like a flying squirrel!
6. Coochie hair: is it there or not?… NOT! Finally something good out of the deal, haven’t had to shave since October! Im literally loving being a naked mole rat!

Sex frankly isn’t the same after cancer strikes. From having family or friends over to lend a helping hand the past 2 months, to me not feeling good, to my hubby being exhausted from picking up extra slack, sex just hasn’t been a priority.  When I put on cute lingerie like I would before I had cancer, now I look in the mirror and want to throw up.  I look disgusting, Im bald, skinny, have a port popping out of my chest… and who knows in a few months my tiny titty tata’s might even be nonexistent.  How in the world did this happen to me.  It is very very hard to get all hot and bothered when I don’t even feel sexy.  How can I dress up to get him turned on if I can’t even turn on myself.

One thing I am so thankful for is how wonderful John is.  No matter how much I cry or how upset I get over things, he’s always there to pick up the pieces and just deal with my emotional messes.  Oh I’m so lucky to have him!

Well… until it gets better— go read Samii Ryan at www.sexandthevalley.com 

XO Meg

 

As many of you know from reading my blog or knowing me personally, Early on into my diagnosis, I decided to be treated traditionally with chemotherapy in conjunction with nontraditional approaches. Ive touched a little about my reiki, but up until this point I havent really explained much about what ive learned to accept and love as a part of my life.

Last weekend, my sister, cousin, and I were treated by my dad to massages and a session in a Himalyan salt cave. We were so totally excited about the experience but hardly knew just how amazing this day would be!

Needless to say, my family and I have had a pretty rough past couple of months… I was diagnosed, started fertilitity treatments, got married, started chemo, its crazy how my life has completely 360* outside of my “plan”. My dad so graciously decided it was time for us to relax, and that was just what we needed.

So he booked our massages at a place called “Peace, Love, Zen” in East Liberty PA! Walking into this place I knew it would change my life. After working all day at a fundraisig event, we were exhausted and opening the front door and walking in to the definition of tranquility was amazing.

You walk in to an earthy painted room with a water feature in the left corner, cozy couches and a wall lit with himalyan salt pieces for sale. The front desk is neat but modern. They had samples of lotioms and Kengan water samples… Talk about amazing! 

We were greeted by the most sweet receptionist and handed forms to fill out prior to our massages. It struck me in that moment that where normally i never had to check anything… My past medical history has become rather significant. Still to this day (even though its getting easier) when i first tell people “i have breast cancer” i get a little choked up. I guess its still sorta sorreal,  like how did this happen to me?!

Anyways… So the massage therapist came out and introduced herself as “J”. She led me back first and out started the questioning. She was so easy to talk to I hardly had room to feel uncomfortable or upset… I couldnt wait to get the massage a going;)

She told me to take off my clothes to where I felt comfortable, then slip onto the amethyst charged heated bed and cover myself with a sheet. I did as I was told, and she returned by a door knock a few minutes later.

The massage… Oh my god! Okay so I never had a professional massage before, i was always nervous it would be awkward or id feel weird… I was soooo missing out! One word to describe a massage is “heaven”. Not kidding! She began my deep tissue healing specifically focusing on my neck and upper back where i soooo needed some love and care.

30 minutes later and far too soon… Time was up and my massage was complete. It took a few minutes for me to self arise… I put my clothes back on and met my sister and cousin in the waiting room.

Next was the most magical of experiences! I am a horrible meditater. I dont know if its because I cant get out of my own head, or simply just love being surrounded by the sound of people. 

  
We were guided back to a Himalyan Salt Cave— just the name makes me want to say ahhhhh. So relaxing. You walk in, take your shoes off outside and submerged your feet into crystals. Talk about relaxing! Theres a ton of reverse gravity chair set up along the room so naturally we all cuddle up with eachother.

  
I bundled up in an extra blanket because if by chance I was able to fall asleep… My body temp would decrease– and im always cold anyways… So- 2 blankys it is!

We got a few extra minutes while waiting for another group of “cavers”, they were running late so chose a different time. They began the recording and shit the door… And i cant even explain the experience.

When you take a deep breath in, you can literally feel the oxygen coming out of you finger tips. It is such an amazing feeling. And… With noices of water and birds and wind— i found myself in a trance, then deep sleep.

When time was up I made up my mind that I would sleep there all night! Hahaha if only it was offered;) ha.

   
    
   
I even had a chance to bring my mom back a couple weeks later! So exciting I love spreading this magic✨

I absolutely recommend anyone in a similar situation to mine to reach out and try hollistic approaches! I am not saying dont do tradtional routes because I fully support medicine and Doctors medical training…

I do many of my hollistic treatments through:

  
Peace Love Zen in East Liberty PA (near pittsburgh)

— accupuncture review to be continued

Xoxo meg

   
    
    
 I just wanted to post a quickie (just not too arousing sorry), filling everyone in on what just happened at chemo.

Today was my round 4/4 of the “bad stuff” aka the red devil as I heard it be called, adriamycin. The day started with a quick vital workup and review of my lab results from my blood that was taken yesterday. I was feeling good after meeting with my amazing bundle of joy, and such a educated person (shout out to Dr. jane Raymond and her team, with a special shoutout to Nurse Jackie) i truly dont think id be doing so well without all the compassionate workers in oncology at allegheny general health network!

Before seeing the doctor I ran back to the treatment room to “call” my seat… Okay it may have been a bit bratty of me, but I love my corner near the potty for good reason! (I literally pee 200 times during chemos). The nurses just laughed at me! I brought them homemade cookie though so a seat reservation is the least they can do😆

My nurse was Denise, and shes just so fabulous I cant put it into words. Myself and Nurse Denise have a history… She was at my very first chemo when my port malfunctioned! Just her luck shes caught with the problem child me!;)

I was accessed which is still a little tender but still 100 x better than an IV placement. I had pre-meds and it was time for RED (aka adramycin- chemo med). She began pushing and I felt exhausted. All morning ive noticed its been difficult to maintain my eyes open. Turns out I started talking and noticed my throat getting tight and words were slurred bc the swelling in my tongue.

She immediately stopped pushing my chemo med, she grabbed my vitals and did her best to keep me stable and confortable. Nurse Trudy whove ive also talked about before ran over to place and IV site in my room and then I was sent to to ER for a chest xray and EKG on my heart. 

After attivan, benedryl, and an additional steroid… I felt like a walking zombie however my tongue wasnt as big as a walrus! I was a tad nervous  for a second id end up in the circus or something… The things that cross my mind.

After much persuasion, I did get the doctors to allow me to Discharge home… And now im resting in my Jacuzzi tub! Thank you babes*

I want to especially thank my friend Amy because she came all the way up (like 4 hr drive) for yesterday and today— we made cookies, relaxed, and then she stayed by my side through my whole reaction, i am so so sorry but so incredibly grateful to have you in my life! Not to mention she gave me the honors of cutting her hair so she can donate it to someone like me! I am so so blessed to have you in my life!

And my husband John, what would I do without you… You can immediately by one squeeze of my hand make me relaxed, thank you for never leaving me and always being there no matter what! I love you to the moon and back a kazillion times✨

Well thats all I got for this one… Cheers to a better tomorrow* supposedly i will finish my chemo treatment in the morning… #sparkleon
Xoxo meg

The day I was diagnosed with breast cancer on October 12, 2015 at the age of 26… I of course cried due to fear of the unknown. Telling my friends and family had to be the worst part because I didnt want to scare them with this very unexpected diagnosis I just received.

Truth is like my little sister Jill aka Dr. Jill (yes a play off of Dr. Phil), always says… “Its not like the cancer just appeared on that day… Ive been living with it in my body for months, so why completely change my outlook on life now?” This is so so true. ..

I have always tried to be a positive person. I live my life to help others, whether it be my family, friends, or people with desperate signs standing on the road. This one time me and my friends Dustin and Ry Ry went out to the mall when we were in college and grabbed subway for lunch to eat back at our dorm. As Dustin was driving and I was in the passenger seat, we came to a red light. On the left side of the road stood a man with a sign not asking for money, but asking for food and prayers.

Me holding a bag of 3 footlongs without thinking, I jumped out of the car and handed the man hopefully a few meals to keep his energy and positivity going. The look on that mans face will forever be engrained in my mind. He was so shocked and simply said “God Bless You”, which to me was so powerful.

I jumped back in the car just in time for the light to turn green, with 2 pretty angry and hungry boys because I just handed over their grub. — Dont worry I went back out to feed the boys;) its just things like that are what Im called to do… I dont even think about it half of the time!

I attended Misericordia University in Dallas Pa, the most amazing college where I always described it as a “happy bubble”! It is founded by the four charisms of Mercy, Service, Justice, and Hospitality… And truly the students that attend without even thinking would practice those acts daily!

  
I had the opportunity to make lifelong friends (shout out to the MU swim team🏊🏻) who I would literally consider my family! When I found out the news of my cancer, one of my very good friends from MU, Kera Hope within minutes of my post to my friends took it upon herself to start a GoFund Me page which has literally helped me pay bills these past few months! Of not working! With 2 weeks notice, every single one of my MU friends aside from Cali Boy Dustin who has an excuse, was in Pittsburgh on halloween… Not for a costume party but to make my fairytale wedding come to life! Thank you all, you will never know how much I appreciated you being there!

   
    
    
   
To my new Pittsburgh friends, when I decided to move here, my biggest concern was that all my friends lived so far away. John has such an amazing group of friends and since day one theyve accepted me with open arms. 

Back to my hair dilemma… when I shaved my head, I was sooooo embarrased and scared to be around friends because I didnt want them to think of me as different or be weirded out. The first party together I wore my wig, the next I went bald and everyone was amazingly open and dint make it a big deal at all! So, thank you for giving me the strength and courage I needed to accept my baldness! Xo Everyday the girls text me, check on me, and ask me what they can do to help! I am so so blessed for all of you, and so is John!

   
 At Misericordia, I had the opportunity to become involved with campus ministry and took an alternative religious class where I was able to go to Guyana South America to work in hospitals, rehab centers, schools and orphanages! The boys of St. John Bosco orphange truly left a mArk on my life… And I will forever be connected to them whether im there or here! 

After my first international trip, I knew I had to return, and my friend Jeff and I did just that! I started an organization Gifts for Guyana and every year (aside from this one due to my circumstances) I was able to get their Christmas lists and make all their wishes come true with the help of my friends and family!

Even though I have cancer, my life is NOT over, actually it has just begun! Im married now! I have met the most amazing people along this journey! Jamie Holmes from Jamies Dream Team has opened her arms and loving heart and has allowed me to share in her passion of making sick childrens dreams come true! Sasha Danielle  Hall is not only the amaing photographer who donated time to my wedding, but also a truly magical friend, and Pul Saunders, where do I even begin! He has spend endless hours editing my wedding video, video of me shaving my head, and even a video to slow down johns sperm after our fertility appointment! He is so amazing!!! 👏🏻👏🏻I am truly so blessed to be continuing my journey of helping others right here in my own backyard!
  
  

   
   
 My point is this… Getting any diagnosis is sad, im angry sometimes, and of course fearful of the whatifs… But without my family, my mom for being here days after chemo, my dad for researching cures on google even though ive told him a kazillion times to not believe everything you read, my sisters for being my rock, shavin their heads, and doing whatever they have to do to keep a smile on my face, my in laws for bringing us dinner, taking Izzy and hlping whenever they can, my brother in law for shaving his head and always providing me comic relief, my cousin for driving endless hours to plan my wedding and help me when I need help, and my friends and family… Its the simple things like the cards, donations, gifts, and texts that truly keep me going so thank you from the bottom of my heart!

So where do I get my positivity from? I get it from all of you! Everyday that I drag myself out of bed, its for all the amazing people in my life. There has been 1 day throughout this journey that I ever asked John if he thought I would die because of this illness and he 1. Looked at me like I was nuts, and 2. Said “um absolutely Not” and i believe him! By reading blogs that are sad or full of those scary thoughts… Thats what kills my vibe so I refuse. Ive realized that my job through this is to spread my story as well as comic relief… Because if you cant smile through this journey youll never make it!

I want to end with a quote that I hold near and dear to my heart…

  
#sparkleon ✨💕✨

Xoxo Meg

Chemo is an effective traditional method for many types of cancers most specifically to me, Breast Cancer. Like many treatments, the “poison” that chemo is made of has MANY different side effects that obviously differ per person. NO TWO PEOPLE have the same story, nor do they react the same to these evil medications.  Many side effects depend on the specific type of cancer, drugs and dosage used during a specific treatment, age, and overall health of an individual prior to the diagnosis.

The job of chemotherapy is to have an affect on active cells. What does that mean? Active cells are cells that are growing and dividing into more of the same type of cell— I’m ready to take you back to your 9th grade biology class. When I was first diagnosed one of the initial things the doctors began to explore is where my cancer came from.  Was it genetic i.e.: a gene mutation, was it environmental, or just plain old bad luck– which wouldnt be that unexpected for me! Lets just say… I havent won the lottery just yet!;)

Cancer cells, or how I look at them anyways is picturing them as little mutants in my body,are technically active cells, but healthy cells are also active. (OKAY Meghan i’m confused). Well, to keep things simple… our bodies are filled with all sorts of different cells. There are cells in your blood, mouth, digestive system, and hair follicles just to name a few. So… when people go through chemo, there really isn’t a way for the drugs to only affect the mutant cancer cells, it turns our healthy cells also get damaged along the way…

“Meghan what kind of side effects are you experiencing?”

Here is my tell all post, the ewwy gooey and all that is in between.  The below list of symptoms are the most common and typically what my chemo nurses ask me about every time I go for a treatment session.

Fatigue: Anyone that knows me would probably describe me as something like the energizer bunny.  Normally I work as an Occupational Therapist in a hospital. Some days I do home health after work to  make a few extra bucks, then I go home cook and clean and then find some other project to take up my night.  Weekends I wake up around 7:00 am and am literally on the go from the time I wake up till I got to sleep.  I NEVER thought chemo would make me feel tired. I was wrong again… (HOW RUDE!).  I can truthfully tell you that I now know the real definition of exhaustion.  Not that I feel it every single day, but the first day or two, or three after a treatment my body im tired from the inside out.  I actually CRAVE sleep! When I get out of bed it feels like im crawling through quick sand. Even things like washing dishes or vaccuming i have to sit down and take a break because I get so tired… Its so weird.

Pain. Each and every time I go for a treatment the nurse asks me if I have any numbness or tingling in my hands or feet. What she is actually looking for is signs of nerve damage from the chemo!  KNOCK ON WOOD, thus far I have not have any specific nerve damage type symptoms, however after the NEULASTA (my white blood cell booster), the next day my body literally feels like it is covered in bruises. It has only lasted 1 day both sessions, but it is awful and literally puts me in an awful/ emotional mood. I feel like Oscar the Grouch mood wise and the Tin Man when I go to move my joints because they get so stiff! Again, chemo really does suck!

 Mouth and throat sores. “Do you have any ulcers in your mouth?” Okay, prior to chemo I literally thought the only mouth ulcers were herpes… WRONG AGAIN!  My first chemo session I was clear of sores… however dreaded session 2 I met another enemy.  The following day, not only was my throat sore but my tongue was on fire!  When I looked in the mirror, I noticed my taste buds to be sort of swollen.  Of course I call my doctor because I tried to eat and any food just felt like a million razor blades in my mouth.  Turns out, yup you guessed it!  I have mouth ulcers.  They prescribed me a rinse called “Magic Swizzle”– no joke, thats the name on the bottle. VOM! I could hardly let it touch my tongue before gagging it into the sink.  Hey, noone said chemo was pretty…  Drinking water really helped me through my mouth pain, I also used some ora gel to provide some numbing relief. (Literally I’m like a little baby again)

Diarrhea. Like i’ve said before… “girls do not poop!” However this is a very important question for doctors to ask. Some chemotherapy drugs cause loose or watery stool or the reverse very hard compacted poo. It is very important to make a head turn after a potty trip because when diarrhea is not treated, there is a high risk for dehydration– which in my case is very important because adriamycin can have very harsh effects on my kidneys.  Lucky for me, my poo is pleasantly perfect and smelling like roses at this time :o)

Nausea and vomiting. Chemo session one I woke up with nausea one day maybe the 3rd day post treatment.  Chemo session two, my days were filled with nausea.  Thankfully, I am yet to vomit KNOCK ON WOOD AGAIN… but the feeling of nausea is the worst!  I do have Zoran which is a prescription anti nausea medication however it didn’t seem to work for me this time around.  Needless to say, my face and the toilet bowl have become best friends throughout this journey!

Changes in thinking and memory: AKA: Chemo brain. How crazy is this one.  So, when I first began treatment and met Mr. Bob, my reiki master– he told my mom and I to not be discouraged if I start getting confused or have trouble remembering things because it is a very common side effect.  Me, being an occupational therapist, 26 years old and having a master degree never ever thought this would happen to me.  So, over Thanksgiving I was doing some holiday baking.  I was simply doubling a recipe okay.  Let me remind you, I went to a private college and took calculus for heaven sake!  I also perform cognitive testing on patients on the daily working as an OT.  Anyways, so I’m mixing all my ingredients together and something just wasn’t right.  I began hysterical crying to John because literally I could not figure out the recipe. So crazy!  I had to take a deep breath and ask for help… which is very hard for me to do but I guess it is all a part of this process. Dont worry I didnt kill anyone with my cookies!

Sexual and reproductive issues. Chemotherapy can affect your fertility. I’ve told you all in prior post my experience of my egg retrieval etc.  I also recently had an IUD placed (brand: Paragaurd) which is copper based as an alternative to hormone birth controls because my tumor is estrogen +.  will do a post all about that experience later… Stay tuned! As for sexual drive… I mean, im busy and just dont feel pretty or sexy naked so I guess that plays a part… But if I want some sexy time Im sure John can penicil me into his schedule;)

Appetite loss. ABSOLUTELY, this may be one of my biggest side effects.  It might sound weird to someone reading this but I can literally go until 4:00 pm or later if i’m busy doing stuff around the house and never even think about eating!  I mean, before treatment I wasn’t the biggest of eaters… okay I’m actually really picky and would rather eat junk; ice cream, chocolate… you know, the good stuff!  Now a days…. I hardly even have cravings for that stuff! No wonder people use medical marijuana!  (No I DO NOT use marijuana, never have, never will!)

Hair loss. Sadly… must we actually bring this one up again.  Just look at my pics…

BEFORE

  
AFTER– cheers to my little sis for supporting me and cutting of her hair while I go through this bump in the road! Love you Beaner!

  
These are the big ones that my nurses ask me about when I have treatments.  All in all when people say “Chemo Sucks” or “Cancer Sucks”, the truth is that it really really does! However, what doesn’t kill ya makes ya stronger… and side effects aside, that is exactly what I am becoming… STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY— another Britney reference 😉

XOXO Meg

 

  
Hello all! So I must apologize. I haven’t posted in a while for a few reasons. 1. Chemo session 2 kicked my booty toot. 2. Ive been only focusing on my hair and crying and depressed because i have horrible patchiness, uneven baldness and feel literally disgusting everytime I look in a mirror, 3. Im making my family do my dirty work aka having best little sis Jill Franz write a phenomenal blog post on why I have to stop complaining about my hair but I cant! Grrrr… Seiously though what is up with the below pictured line across my forehead! Like if it isnt already bad enough im bald… Now I have a line across my head!

Okay, anyways…so lets kick it back a little to Tuesday November 24th, that was chemo session two. I met with my doctor, she said I was looking good, I was feeling great with a smile on my face and slightly excited for another session because thats one step closer to the finish line right;)! Jill drove up to spend the week with John and I as we prepare to host our first Thanksgiving for our families… All well good in the hood… oh was I so mistaken.

So my oncologist met with us and after saying how great I looked, she mentioned that my hair actually looked like it was growing! There was a pinch of hope in me as I said to myself, “Im gonna be the girl that chemo has reverse effects and I actually turn into Rapunzel instead of Rufus the Naked Mole Rat (Kim Possible… Get it 90s kids). She then followed up by saying “Were gonna change that today” NOOooOooOooOooo (in my brain this was in the voice of the Grinch on top of Mt Crumpit).

I changed the subject to discuss my reservations about taking the Neulasta medication again (Neulasta is my white blood cell booster that I had an itchy and irritating allergic reaction to in chemo session one). My doctor and nurse immediately got on the phone with the pharmacist to problem solve… Turns out if you take Pepcid (yup the tummy stuff) and Benedryl together they “supposibly” act as an antihistimine and counteract inflammation therefore assisting with the allergic reaction… Not for Meeee!

So after my appointment with the doctor, off to chemo I go! At first we walked into treatment room one (again!) and… dun dun dun, my wall seat was swipped by the sweetest little old woman! How rude! Didnt she know I was coming;) turns out she was in the wrong treatment room, so guess what! I got my favorite seat, YIPPEEeeeeee! It worked out great actually! It was me, my comfy seat, my hubby, and my sister as one big happy family in the corner near the bathroom! (Score!)

My fabulous nurse Trudy from my last session was there again and I was so thankful to see her! She immediately came over and started asking me all the “questions” they ask every session in their nursing interview. Basically its things like… “Do you have any sensation changes in your feet or hands?”, “How is your appetite?”, “What does your poop look like?”… (Okay the last one isnt as vulagr but they wanna know about constipation and diarrhea which is totally what I want to discuss in front of my new hubby… Doesnt she know girls Do Not poop!💩

My chemo session began, and my urge to pee every 5 minutes also started! Johns friend Rafat came to visit us and keep us company which was so nice, pays to have amazing friends that work in the hospital setting! Then, around the corner peeps the man in the red vest… Yes you guessed it! Mr. Bob my reiki master!!!! Bring me some reiki;)

He began talking then performing a little bit of reiki on me! I love when he is there because not only is he great company, but the reiki always seems to warm me up!

All in all session 2 flew by without a breeze. I did experience one weird symptom when they were running my 2nd drug, I like could taste it in the back of my throat and my nose was like dry and saltish! So weird, the nurse said they ran one of the drugs too fast— ✅ that for next time.

I was feeling great until the dreaded 24 hrs later, Neulasta the evil chemo devil went off. With my sister supervising for the hour it emersed throughout my body, I fell asleep on the couch and a few hours later woke up with my skin burning and it feeling like fire ants were under my skin preparing for winter just like in A Bugs Life! Talk about horrendous!

I immediately yelled for John (because he keeps me calm) and rushed into the bathroom, stripped my clothes and jumped into the tub. I layed for a while then went to bed. I just new all the achiness and hypersensitivity of my skin would happen again. You guessed it! Thanksgiving day and my skin ached, so bad that when my dad arrived and gave me a hug I screamed because of the pain. Its almost as if my entire body is covered in bruises!

  
  

You may be wondering why my sister has hair in the chemo pictures but a shaved head two days later at Thanksgiving dinner. Turns out she’s a girl to he word, and since she was here a couple days after Chemo 2 and saw how upset I was that my hair was falling out so badly— that night she decided to “GO BRITTANY!”

She wanted me to cut the first ponytail and I was literally crying because 1. It was so touching that she would do this to me, and 2. I never would want her to feel the way I do about myself when I look in the mirror and don’t see my long hair.  Turned out Jill, John, and BFF Greg all shaved their heads that night!  The following day  my brother in law (davekoziel.com) live streamed him shaving his hair off!

I am so so thankful to have such amazing friends and family!  With their support and a tribe of baldies by my side, I hardly felt awkward being at Thanksgiving dinner with 20 people without a wig on!  Thank you guys… truly you do not even understand how much your bald head means to me! XOXO

Soo crazy me also decided to host Thanksgiving this year! Thankfully I have an amazing family who when they heard I wasnt feeling so well everyone decided to pitch in to make a dinner for 20 guests possible! Even though I sort of planted myself under my blanket on the recliner for majority of the day… It was amazing to have many of my family all in our house for our first married holiday! I am so so blessed! Bring on chemo session 3 and Christmas!!! I cannot wait!

Xoxo Meg